Consistent Kissing and Airborn Bacteria

Aah rock concerts...

The crazy outfits, the illuminating smoke, the kick drum that feels like it's right in your chest...oh yeah, and the major face suckage.

Now, I love concerts with a burning passion that can only be compared to the fire of a thousand suns, and then some. It's my favorite past-time. I love being there in the presence of all the screaming people, colored lights, and amazing musicians. And having a decent excuse to headbang is just an added bonus. But why, oh why, do some people feel as if they must (they just HAVE to) make-out like there's no tomorrow right in front of me while I'm trying to watch my future, lead guitarist husband perform?

I mean, really guys. ..and girls.

Sure, you're away from your parents for a productive amount of time, and yes, I suppose it is somewhat easy to get caught up in the romantic atmosphere that is the pot-filled, alcohol driven, moist-from-dancing-sweat rock concert we all know and love. But can you at least, I don't know, duck down a little instead of becoming this freakish, intertwined blob blocking my view of the silky haired drummer?

Think of the children!

My cute little, silky haired, musically talented, future children... *sigh*

Oh..sorry. Awkward...

Anyway, remember the Beatles?

If you answered "no," leave. Right now.

Just imagine being at one of their concerts. Flowers everywhere, a message of world peace (instead of insignificant angst about how your girlfriend of two weeks just dumped you for the the guy with the double-kick drum set, because one kick drum just wasn't enough for her, and now you're seeking revenge), and, well yes, lots of pot there too... but at least all they wanted to do was hold your hand. Not eat your face off! Leave something for the zombies wouldja?

I just think there are better, nicer, more appropriate times to, if you feel so compelled, kiss for a seemingly unbearable amount of time. But maybe that's just me.

P.S. Mayday Parade is amazing live!

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody...

Oh, procrastination...

It's been much too long since I've written in here. Why has it been so long, you ask? One word: procrastination. I've somehow managed to always find something better to do than write my thoughts (straighten my hair, read things that are completely insignificant to every aspect of my life, color in my princess coloring book...Don't judge me). Which is ironic considering I have so many of them. This is also why I've never kept a journal for more than about two weeks.

Want to know something else that's ironic?

Yes, I enjoy irony.

I'm actually writing this as a form of procrastination from my math homework.

Yeah, I've graduated and yet I still have math homework. I blame the government.

Speaking of graduating, I've been using a lot of my thinking power to try and decide what college I want to go to. Of course, I must first decide what I would like to do with my life.

Here's what I have so far: NOTHING!

So here lies my seemingly everlasting problem. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do as a profession. None whats-so-ever.

Sometimes I like to try and comfort myself by remembering that my favorite author, John Green, didn't decide that he wanted to be an author until he was a Junior in college, or that Vincent Van Gogh was a school master, a student priest missionary, and an art dealer before he became a painter.

Yet, for some unknown reason that couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that the course of my entire future virtually depends on this decision, I'm still freaking out.

People always tell you to do what you love.

I have two problems with this: I love a lot of different things equally, and the majority of them are the kind of things you dream about doing as a kid, i.e. rockstar, famous movie director, well-known fiction writer, princess...

I just never grew out of those dreams. Which brings me to my main point; I want a pony.

I suppose my biggest dream, currently (it changes a lot), is to be a photographer for National Geographic. I have the opportunity to go to Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara and everything.

But talk about pressure. That's not just something you can drop out of if you decide you'd rather try out for American Idol.

Not that I've ever actually considered trying out for American Idol or anything... *looks around nervously*

Ultimately though, I just want to get married and have a family one day. So I suppose whatever I end up doing will work out in the end assuming I can at least accomplish that much.

These are the times I just make myself recite Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plan I have for you,'" declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Madly In Love

Three things I am currently and madly in love with:

#1, Olan Rogers http://www.olanrogers.com/oldsite/ and his videos http://www.youtube.com/user/olanrogers?blend=2&ob=4

#2, Sarah Dessen books http://www.sarahdessen.com/ (specifically Lock and Key)

#3, Sparknotes.com http://www.sparknotes.com/

So first off, Olan Rogers.
Oh, Olan Rogers. Seriously, I want to marry this guy. Like, I'm not kidding. *serious face*
He is basically everything I want to be but in male form. His photography is amazing, he's a small-time director, and he's HILARIOUS!!!
And he's only twenty-three. So I have a shot right? Give me a couple of years.
Anyway, as I was saying, his photography is beautiful. Honestly, you'll just have to go look at it yourself. He's even gotten to photograph some bands. *sigh of envy*
He's also directed American Analog's "Search Party" music video and the unpublished version of Tokyo Police Club's "In A Cave" music video.
And as for his comedy videos...AWESOMESAUCE!!! His shorts and video logs are just plain hilarious and his Balloon Shop (comedy YouTube videos featuring Olan Rogers, Joshua Pursley, and Thomas Gore) stuff will have you literally rolling on the floor laughing.
Oh, and best of all, he's Christian!

I believe it's time for some girl-ish teenage gushing -- Oh my gosh he's the bomb.com! And he's tall! With dark hair (my preference)! And pretty eyes! And, and, *dreamy sigh*
But, no, he's actually in a relationship with someone named Rachel--lucky girl!
Why, yes, yes I am a stalker.

But in all seriousness, who ever is reading this (thank you, by the way), should really check out his work. It's just...it's just...splendid! And I don't use the word "splendid" very often but for you, Olan, I will momentarily expand my vocabulary. Only for you...because you are awesomesauce. And I like saying awesomesauce.


Secondly, Sarah Dessen books.
I'm still currently reading Lock and Key, and it's only getting better!
This is my third Dessen novel and she has yet to disappoint. The others I have are Just Listen and The Truth About Forever.
It almost bothers me a little that I love these books so much because many, many, many other teenage girls do as well. So it's almost like a cliche.
And yet, I can't stand the thought of not reading her books.
I tried to resist for a long time. I really did. But I gave in once, only once, and now I'm hooked. They're like cigarettes for the brain.

But when I finish Lock and Key (which, considering it's level of awesome-ness, shouldn't be too long), I really want to read Th1rteen R3asons Why by Jay Asher. http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/index.php

Synopsis: Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker --his classmate and crush-- who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explain that there are thirteen reason why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay's dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers.

Sounds intriguing to me. So that's the next on my list.


Now, last but most definitely not least, Sparknotes!
You've probably heard of Sparknotes. Or if you're a little older you may call them Cliff Notes.
Those amazing guides that help you through your English and literature homework. Humorously navigating you through Shakespeare's beautiful but oh so hard to understand masterpieces.
Well, if that itself isn't good enough for you (way to be selfish), there's a website!
And not just any website. An extremely funny, entertainingly interactive, and amazingly informative website! Not the "I would seriously rather be watching Glee than reading this" mind numbing kind of informative, either. More like the "I think my brain is doing a happy dance. Is that normal? Should call my doctor?" kinda of informative.
You know what, just go see for yourself. Seriously. Go. Now.

He goes before us, follows behind us, and hems us safe inside the realm of His protection. (Beth Moore)

Beautiful Mess

Far Far by Yael Naim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajcRFpJBLQ8

Far far, there's this little girl. She was praying for something to happen to her.
Everyday she writes words and more words, just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside.
And she's strong when the dreams come. Because they take her, cover her, they are all over.
The reality looks far now, but don't go.

How can you stay outside? There's a beautiful mess inside.

Far far, there's this little girl. She was praying for something good to happen to her.
From time to time there are colors and shapes; dazzle in her eyes, tickle in her hands.
They invent her a new world with oil skies and aqueral rivers.
But don't you run away already. Please don't go.

How can you stay outside? There's a beautiful mess inside.
Take a deep breath and dive.

Far far, there's this little girl. She was praying for something big to happen to her.
Every night she hears beautiful strange music.
It's everywhere. There's nowhere to hide.
But if it fades she begs "Oh, Lord, don't take it from me. Don't take it."

She says "I guess I'll have to give it birth. I guess I have to give it birth."
There's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere.

Just look at yourself now. Deep inside. Deeper than you ever dared.
There's a beautiful mess inside.

Is this song unusual? Maybe.
Do I enjoy unusual things? Yes!

Lock and Key

So, I am now in Huron, SD.

There's not really much here. Just your basics; Wal-mart, Subway, the oh so delicious but evil McDonald's, your local hole-in-the-wall Chinese buffet, and a DQ right across the street (just asking for trouble)...I must be hungry.

Other than that there's not much to do.

So, naturally when I don't have anything to do, I go outside and take pictures of whatever I think looks like it would make for a fun or interesting photo.

I took quite a few today and I was happy. I tend to get this, like, creativity craving; and photography usually helps to satisfy.

Today though, my mom came out with me. And you know what that means!

Oh, you don't?...awkward...

Well, it means I got to have a few pictures taken of myself. Which I enjoy. I'm kind of narcissistic like that.

And it was a sort of bonding time too. I also finally had someone, besides me, to be the subject of my pictures.

Then, I got to come home and edit! My favorite part. And then of course upload them to Facebook...I was born in the '90s, it's what I do.

But aside from narcissistic photography, addictive editing, and generation-Y common-knowledge uploading, I've pretty much been reading the entire time I've been here.

Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen.

It's pretty good so far. I mean, I pick it up almost every chance I get so it must be. At least to me.

I like it because the main character, Ruby, really just wants to be on her own and isn't too quick to trust anyone or get too comfortable anywhere. She's, in a sense, tough, I suppose. At least, she's anything but naive. I like her.

Some of my favorite quotes so far: "It's never something huge that changes everything, but instead the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you're busy focusing on the big picture."

"Funny how a beautiful song could tell such an ugly story."

"That was the thing about being alone, in theory or in principle. Whatever happened --good, bad, or anywhere in between-- it was always, if nothing else, all your own."

"There's something obvious about emptiness, even when you try and convince yourself otherwise."

"Such simple, stupid things, and yet in the end, they were the true proof of a real life."

Yeah, from what I've read, I give it a thumbs up! But it's not over yet.

Now that I've been talking about it, I really want to go read some more. So I think that's exactly what I'll do.

And I'll be the poet that sings of your glory, and live what I sing everyday. (Psalm 61:8)

Your Everything.

Everything.
It means something different to everyone.
Think about it. Think about your everything. What does it consist of? Relationships; material possessions; the things you've seen, heard; the things in your life that you can touch and feel; the things that you can feel but can't physically touch...all of the above? What is your everything?

To be completely honest I often forget what mine is...

But whatever you consider your everything, think about what it'd be like without any of it. What it'd be like to have it, all right there within your grasp, and then wake up and it all be gone. What it'd be like to run out of time.
All the years, days, minutes you had with what's important to you, suddenly gone. Wasted. Insignificant.
Scary? Depressing? Alarming?

Then, the ironic thing is, we almost always blame it God. Whatever form of time shortage we experience; whatever degree of goodbye.
But, He's the one who gave us everything in the first place. We get angry with Him for taking the things we believe are ours away, when none of them were really ours to claim at all.
Without God we'd have nothing. And yet we commonly believe that without Him we'd somehow have more.

It's confusing sometimes. It really is..
Difficult to look past our pride and realize we only have to give up something to have our everything.

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He won't leave you or forsake you. (1 Chronicles 28:20)

Trust, Live, Love.

Therefore, we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? (Hebrews 13:6)

Now, there's some encouragement.

It's hard to believe sometimes that all you have to do is trust in this one thing, one being, and no one can touch you. Live the way you were meant to (which is the best for you, anyway) and you become, in a sense, invincible. Love everyone you encounter and simply soak up the blessings that are, in turn, placed upon you.

Sure it's hard sometimes but the only things you're giving up are the things that were leading you to a downfall anyway..

God's opinion is the only one that matters, and when you have that in mind throughout your life everything, literally, just falls into place. And regardless of what's going on around you, you're always..joyful. Always.

Hard to believe? Maybe. But is it true? Yes.

Being loved by Him whose opinion matters most gives us the security to risk loving too--even loving ourselves. (Gloria Gaither)

The Bieber

Welcome to my blog!

I'm going to start off my giving my Justin Bieber testimony. I know we all have one.
For those of you who didn't just exit the page the second you saw "Justin Bieber", thanks for staying and supporting me and all the others traumatized by The Bieber.

So, you either love Justin, or you hate him so much that you've become as obsessed with him as you would've been if you loved him. Either way, Bieber Fever is scarier than Swine Flu. I'm sure my experience was nothing compared to some other's. But it was life changing, never the less.

It all start with a song...
THAT song.
In case it's not already stuck in your head, let me be of assistance. "Baby baby baby oooh! Like, baby baby baby oooh! Like...etc."
Is it in there now? It's okay to admit it; the first step is acceptance.

Anyway, I hear that song and think:
Oh, how nice, another very repetitive main-stream song to drain the not-yet-developed minds of our children. Move over Miley, here comes...Justin? Well, I won't judge her. I mean, having a boy's name isn't much worse than cutting off the first letter of your childhood nickname and legally changing it to your real name, i.e. Miley.

Then I get home and, waddaya know, I'm humming this stinkin' song. I mean, Who has their first love at 13, honestly?? And even if you did you can't sing about it 3 years later like it's some "back when I was a boy.." story.
Annnywayy, as I was aimlessly wandering around humming this song, there it was. BAM! My first visual intake of The Beiber.

*Aaron Carter flashback*

My thoughts as I did a spit take into my innocent glass of water: But I could have sworn..and then..but...are you sure?? Positive? Have you run any tests? It's not just a bad haircut?..

Then began the stages.

Stage 1: Denial. Nah, no way. This is some new home version of punk'd. Cue Ashton!

Stage 2: Panic. It can't be! No! But, who's gonna be the next Miley?!?! Who will rot our children's brains now???

Stage 3: Anger. Seriously?! No, not seriously! Where's Ashton?! That kid, oooh that kid, is just a walking conspiracy!

Stage 4: Depression. Wow. I can't tell a boy from a girl anymore. Where did I go wrong? What a world, what a world.

Stage 5: Acceptance. Okay..so it's just a boy who's WAY delayed in hitting puberty..it's okay. It's not a government conspiracy to brainwash pre-teens and use them to form new branch of military for a fool proof surprise attack that no one would ever expect causing the enemy to hold fire with empathy as we slowly intrude and steal all their weapons. The puss-in-boots effect... And wouldja look at that! About 90% of the world's popuation is just as confused as I was! Phew.

Then I relaxed with the comforting assumption that once Justin hits puberty (which should be soon. If not, I recommend my doctor..), his career will come spiraling downward because he will no longer sound like a girl and all the irony will be gone. The end.

But seriously, folks. We don't know the kid so he's probably pretty cool. He can't be any lamer than I am. I mean I'm writing about him; that says something in favor of The Bieber, does it not?