The Bieber

Welcome to my blog!

I'm going to start off my giving my Justin Bieber testimony. I know we all have one.
For those of you who didn't just exit the page the second you saw "Justin Bieber", thanks for staying and supporting me and all the others traumatized by The Bieber.

So, you either love Justin, or you hate him so much that you've become as obsessed with him as you would've been if you loved him. Either way, Bieber Fever is scarier than Swine Flu. I'm sure my experience was nothing compared to some other's. But it was life changing, never the less.

It all start with a song...
THAT song.
In case it's not already stuck in your head, let me be of assistance. "Baby baby baby oooh! Like, baby baby baby oooh! Like...etc."
Is it in there now? It's okay to admit it; the first step is acceptance.

Anyway, I hear that song and think:
Oh, how nice, another very repetitive main-stream song to drain the not-yet-developed minds of our children. Move over Miley, here comes...Justin? Well, I won't judge her. I mean, having a boy's name isn't much worse than cutting off the first letter of your childhood nickname and legally changing it to your real name, i.e. Miley.

Then I get home and, waddaya know, I'm humming this stinkin' song. I mean, Who has their first love at 13, honestly?? And even if you did you can't sing about it 3 years later like it's some "back when I was a boy.." story.
Annnywayy, as I was aimlessly wandering around humming this song, there it was. BAM! My first visual intake of The Beiber.

*Aaron Carter flashback*

My thoughts as I did a spit take into my innocent glass of water: But I could have sworn..and then..but...are you sure?? Positive? Have you run any tests? It's not just a bad haircut?..

Then began the stages.

Stage 1: Denial. Nah, no way. This is some new home version of punk'd. Cue Ashton!

Stage 2: Panic. It can't be! No! But, who's gonna be the next Miley?!?! Who will rot our children's brains now???

Stage 3: Anger. Seriously?! No, not seriously! Where's Ashton?! That kid, oooh that kid, is just a walking conspiracy!

Stage 4: Depression. Wow. I can't tell a boy from a girl anymore. Where did I go wrong? What a world, what a world.

Stage 5: Acceptance. Okay..so it's just a boy who's WAY delayed in hitting puberty..it's okay. It's not a government conspiracy to brainwash pre-teens and use them to form new branch of military for a fool proof surprise attack that no one would ever expect causing the enemy to hold fire with empathy as we slowly intrude and steal all their weapons. The puss-in-boots effect... And wouldja look at that! About 90% of the world's popuation is just as confused as I was! Phew.

Then I relaxed with the comforting assumption that once Justin hits puberty (which should be soon. If not, I recommend my doctor..), his career will come spiraling downward because he will no longer sound like a girl and all the irony will be gone. The end.

But seriously, folks. We don't know the kid so he's probably pretty cool. He can't be any lamer than I am. I mean I'm writing about him; that says something in favor of The Bieber, does it not?